shatteredpolaroids

Get undressed with me (from the night out I had last Friday ..

Get undressed with me (from the night out I had last Friday where I most certainly caught whatever illness I currently have - at least the night out was fun 😂)

It's been like 5 days since this so I have even less clue what I ramble about for 17 minutes but oh well! I refuse to watch it back to find out 😂

Hope you enjoy 🥰

Housemate: Part 2sorry I'm late on this, I went on a date an..

Housemate: Part 2

sorry I'm late on this, I went on a date and then got ill and have spent the last 2 days in bed unable to speak ✌️

When I left off, I'd done a little science, it went well, so I decided to do some more. If you want more context than that, read the first part lmao

So we're sat there, legs touching, him playing CoD, and me wondering what I can do next to push my luck.

In my mind there are 2 options:

1: go bold, turn sideways and ask if I can put my legs across him so they're on the arm of the sofa on the other side of him.

2: stay as i am but lean ever so slightly towards him, and gradually further until I'm against his shoulder.

I'm a wimp, so I chose option 2.

However, I had also had a few drinks, so the lean was not quite as *gradual* as I had intended.

I leant against him with all the grace and subtlety of a phone ringing at a funeral.

He. Did. Not. Move.

*HUH*

So let's do some more science? I stayed there for a moment, before asking if he wanted another can. I then got up to get more, and sat back down and leant against him again.

And again *he did not move*

Wild.

I decided to ask him about his seemingly rotten luck with women, partly because I was curious, and partly because I needed a conversation in order to try and turn it from a lean into something more.

It boiled down to shyness mostly. Well, that and

"I've not had sex in about 2 years"

There's my ticket. Come on Steph don't fuck it up.

"Damn that's mad, I've not had sex in like 2 months and I thought *that* was a dry spell" as I said this, I lifted the leg nearest to 1 so I could rest it on top of his, while leaning away and turning slightly so I could face him a bit more. He was still playing CoD so his eyes were firmly locked on the screen until the round ended a few moments later. (I say the round ended, what actually happened was I accidentally made him lose as I turned lmao)

One thing to know about me at that age, is I was a *world-class* fumbler. Naturally I was panicking because my next few words or motions could make the earlier awkwardness seem miniscule in comparison.

1 turned off his Xbox and put some regular TV on, and turned slightly towards me.

"Why are you suddenly so interested in my non-existent sex life?"

"Because not gonna lie you're a good looking guy so it's just hard for me to believe"

Silence. 1 did not know what to say.

I let out a lil awky chuckle, looked him in the eyes, and put my legs fully across him (as in option 1).

"*surely* you know you're not ugly right?" I said with nothing but pure mischief in my eyes.

*This* was the point where it finally clocked to 1 that I was coming onto him. Guy was always oblivious to be fair.

We stared at each other in silence for what felt like an age. I wanted to kiss him, but the position I was sat in made it impossible unless he leant in towards me. And he was *never* gonna do that because he was the most socially awkward *lad* lad I had ever met.

A few more seconds of silence went by before I bit the bullet and blurted out

"I still have that underwear on by the way" and lifted my hoodie slightly to show a sliver of black lace.

I closed my eyes to cringe internally, but I didn't even have time to worry about whether that was too forward or not before I felt movement followed by lips on mine.

My *god* I was so hard. It was so hot. Warm too. So when I felt one of his hands moving up the inside of my hoodie, I pulled away from the kiss and asked him to help me take it off.

His face was an absolute picture. Pure disbelief at what was happening. Elation at what might happen next.

1 was so much *stronger* than I thought he was. Lifted me up with absolutely no issue to readjust before pulling my joggers down to see my stocking-clad legs and black lace thong.

He paused. He'd clearly gotten lost in the moment and forgot what *equipment* I had down there. I considered making a dumb joke about how long it had been for him and "oh that's what vaginas look like these days" but I instead opted for what has become a classic line for me when getting *frisky* with someone:

"I think you're a bit overdressed"

I helped him take his t-shirt off and kissed while I slowly undid the drawstring of his joggers. *The anticipation was absolutely killing me* 🥵

When I'd *finally* finished untying it *(who tf does a double knot on their sweatpants?)* I pushed him backwards so he was resting against the arm of the sofa for me to pull them down.

And *that's* when I found out he went commando most days. 🫦

Will get the 2nd part of that story uploaded today: currentl..

Will get the 2nd part of that story uploaded today: currently ill with a horrible cold so send hugs please 🥺🥺🥺

Since I genuinely cannot recall anything about the night tha..

Since I genuinely cannot recall anything about the night that Anticipation happened beyond what I've already written - and the fact that at some point we all gave each others' genitals a single (1) lick. I'm going to give you a different story instead.

Housemate: Part 1

Years ago (before I even started this account) when I was roughly 19 or 20, I lived with 2 lads. By 'lads' I mean like lads lads, like football lads, like "oi mate" kind of lads. We would always game together in the living room of the house (by together I mean individually but in the same room). They'd be playing either fifa or call of duty, I'd sometimes be playing with them but usually pokemon or something on my switch, or stardew valley on my laptop.

They always played football matches on Sundays, so Sunday would be my lil "okay steph time to have a looooong bath and shave your legs because you have the house to yourself" day as they'd be gone for hours.

*(I'm rambling now, giving context trying to figure out exactly which to start this story from lol)*

I'm gonna refer to them as 1 and 2. 2 had a girlfriend almost the entire time we lived together so he doesn't feature too heavily in this story. But 1 was eternally single. I don't know what it was, he was - by all accounts - an attractive guy. A bit quiet, but good hair, nice body from what I had seen so far, nice person. Bit weird though but I'm hardly in a position to judge.

On nights out together, myself and 2 would spend ages trying to wingman 1. So many times it would appear to be successful but he would still come home alone and seemingly never speak to the girl again.

*I think that's enough context right? I mean you all probably can see exactly where this is going*

2 went on a night out solo, because 1 and I really couldn't be bothered going out. I played call of duty with 1 for an hour or so before giving up (I'm really bad at it so he'd just send me into a building to see where the enemies are when they fire at me). I went to my room to take some saucy pictures to post online.

*Oh I should probably give you a bit more context on the layout of the house to make this make sense: my bedroom was on the ground floor, and the door was directly to the living room, 1 and 2's bedrooms were upstairs.*

I will continue by saying the following events were mostly my fault for not telling him I was in my room to take lingerie photos, he just thought I was having a lie down.

So there I am, contorted into a ludicrous position to take a photo of my ass because I had no tripod at the time.

My door opens and 1 is mid sentence,

"Want a bev?" followed very swiftly with,

"FUCK SORRY" and the door slamming shut.

Mortified.

I chuck some sweats on over my lingerie and awkwardly head back out to the living room a few minutes later.

Upon coming back in, I grab some cans from the fridge so we can have a few and, as was my intention, forget the preceeding 5 minutes.

So we're having a few, back to playing call of duty. The battle royale one? That's what we were playing. And as per usual I was awful, and he carried us to about six 2nd place finishes in a row before the later hour started hindering us a couple of hours later. We continued sitting there but he played solo and I just sat next to him on the sofa watching him ('distracting' is probably a more apt description).

I could sense he was getting a little irked by my constant questions about his custom classes or whatever (I didn't really care about the answers, I could just feel the tension and I have a habit of talking through awkwardness to feel less awkward) so I stopped and just sat in silence.

"You okay?" He asked, noticing my silence.

I tell him I'm fine and that I'm just feeling a bit awks for obvious reasons.

"You literally post those online for anyone to see, and it's fine i barely saw anything anyway, don't worry" he says, handing me another. At this point I realised we're sat close enough that our legs were touching, and I had no idea how long that had been the case for, so I decided to try a little experiment.

I got up, my plan was as follows:

- I get up and leave the room for a few minutes

- I come back, and sit exacly as close as I was before and see if he pulls away.

Very simple plan, and I'm doing it for science so it's all fine right?

He did not pull away when I rested my leg against his.

I'd been through a bit of a dry spell in the months preceeding this night (me? A dry spell? More likely than you think). Call it scientific curiosity: how far can I go before he pulls away or goes to bed?

Aaaaaaand that's it for part 1. Don't worry I have already written part 2 so that'll be coming in the next couple of days. Are you enjoying it so far?

Having a very stressful time this week (lot of bad things in..

Having a very stressful time this week (lot of bad things in life happening at once and i do not have time to process them) but at least I looked cute yesterday?

Yeah i'm very sorry - I said I'd exercise this morning but m..

Yeah i'm very sorry - I said I'd exercise this morning but my partner made the mistake of finding me "too cute to wake up" this morning and I got out of bed so late 😶

Get undressed with me after a night out with my friends ❤️Al..

Get undressed with me after a night out with my friends ❤️

Also unrelated but also kind of related: I was actually shocked by how my body looked towards the end of this - it's hard in this industry to see and appreciate your own body the way it actually looks and I'm really happy that it looks the way it does at the moment 🥹

Also pls bully me into doing my exercise in the morning - I know I'll be hungover but I neeeed to do it or I'll stop again (😭)

(Okay this one is completely unrelated but I kinda rlly wanna do a video as a like,,, northern chavvy girl - probably not everyone's cup of tea but I just have to know how I look with orange foundation, thicccccc eyebrows, and an absurdly short skirt 🤭)

I didn't have time to do a get ready with me, so you'll get ..

I didn't have time to do a get ready with me, so you'll get to watch me undress later instead 😘

Day 2: 25 squats (+1 apparently) and 30 hip thrusts I was in..

Day 2: 25 squats (+1 apparently) and 30 hip thrusts

I was initially going to lie and say I recorded this yesterday as planned and forgot to upload it but that's dishonest and I don't like that - I had a bad day yesterday and that's my reason for this being a day late haha

I also accidentally stopped the recording between the 2 exercises so that's why it's 2 videos instead of 1 (I'm still figuring out the new phone lmaoo)

Guess what! Exercise videos are back 🥰🥰I'm starting again fr..

Guess what! Exercise videos are back 🥰🥰

I'm starting again from day 1 because it's been so bloody long so here's:

Day 1 of squatting (and hip thrusting) until I have a world class ass 🥰💪

I didn't keep count of the squats because my knee was being weird and that was distracting me so someone please count them and let me know below how many there were

I'm going to aim to do this roughly once every 2 days x

Get undressed with me after a really busy day 🥰I've really m..

Get undressed with me after a really busy day 🥰

I've really missed doing these and I'm so happy I can again 🥹

Yes, I'm aware this was very ramble-y but what do you expect? I've not spoken to you in weeks 😫

I went on a lunch date with A (from the June stories) today and then met with a friend to be introduced to their new boyfriend and I looked rlly pretty all day because it's finally autumn so I can bust out the leather trousers that I didn't actually wear like at all last year for some reason but at least I'm vibing with them again 😌

Also I may have a little surprise for you tomorrow (don't get too excited, I'm not being ironic, it is a small surprise) - I made a deal with someone and if I wake up in a good mood, I'll stick to it so make sure you also check here tomorrow lmao

I'm also gonna get back on top of my messages tomorrow finally now that opening OF doesn't annoy me because I can actually upload things again lol

Also it's my birthday in 3 weeks (if it wasn't made clear by me absolutely rambling about wanting presents 🙄 but also my wishlist is in my bio and I would love some presents 👉👈 but please remember to put your username on the note so I know who to thank pls 🥹)

Oh ALSO, I need new shows to watch, so pls tell me if you're watching anything good at the moment (or bad I guess, some bad shows are still good lmao)

Steph x

Had a v nice date last night 🥰 (definitely calmed me down af..

Had a v nice date last night 🥰 (definitely calmed me down after being seen naked by a maintenance guy 🥴)

Finally able to post some of the lil videos I didn't get to ..

Finally able to post some of the lil videos I didn't get to post on my old phone 🥰

These are from day 2 of xbiz in Amsterdam at the start of the month - i had to split it in 2 because I couldn't film the whole thing at once despite it only being like 6-8 minutes lmao

Okay I now have a new phone!! I’m just struggling to log int..

Okay I now have a new phone!! I’m just struggling to log into this on it but once I sort that I can finally post properly again and I’m so happy

In the meantime, here are 2 photos of me in a lovely hotel bathroom taken just after I had some really good sex (well, just after I was finally able to stand up again)

Anticipation: Part 2 We had so many. I think we ended up go..

Anticipation: Part 2

We had so many. I think we ended up going to bed at about 4:30am *(the pub closed at 11pm for context)*

We started playing a drinking game - I don’t recall which one. My fiancé and C were sat next to each other on a sofa and I was sat in an armchair. At some point, the game stated my fiancé had to kiss every player. He obliged because 1) the forfeit was doing a shot, and 2) he’s bi anyway. I *somewhat only half-joking* said they should put some tongue into theirs, so they did a kiss with a lil tongue and it was cute. I, being the fantastic kisser I am (obviously) had something of a 45 second kiss with my fiancé *practically across C’s lap*.

I had never kissed C before but I *definitely* had wanted to for years, so I sheepishly said “well now I feel like I have to kiss C so we’ve all kissed each other to make it fair!”

I think from the kiss I shared with C, it was blatantly obvious that I had wanted to kiss him for years. I have no idea how long it lasted, only that it was *a while*. Flustered, I went to the bathroom afterwards and also decided to get changed out of my gig outfit and into a loose crop top and some sweatpants (no underwear because I had been tucked all day and wanted my genitals to feel free - not the wisest decision of the night).

Upon my return, I was greeted by the news that the all-powerful game had stipulated I *lick C’s nipple*. As he was lifting his shirt, he apologised for ‘the ludicrous amount of chest hair’ he had. *(now, if you’ve spoken to me 1-on-1 on here, you’re *probably* aware of the fact that one of the things I *really* love is a hairy man. 🤭)*. So I say, “C, never apologise for chest hair” and exchanged a glance with my fiancé as he, somewhat obviously, also knows this about me.

My god, that man had a *glorious* chest. However I didn’t want to overstay so I just gave his nipple a tiny lil lick. Next rule from the game? *”Steph, strip down to your underwear”*

Oh dear. Less than ideal. The only 2 items of clothing I was wearing was the sweatpants and the crop top. My fiancé and C looked very excited at the prospect of me having to just sit there naked 🤭🫣

*Are you enjoying this? I’m having fun writing it, I literally have a tiny wet dot on the front of my sweatpants because it’s getting me a lil 🥵 reliving it and I still don’t have underwear on so 🤷‍♀️*

Part 3 soon xoxo

Almost forgot to post this, just remembered now that I’d promised this would go up today lmao

Anticipation: Part 1 Pretext: I know you all love my graphi..

Anticipation: Part 1

Pretext: I know you all love my graphically sexual stories *however,* I really thought you might find this one quite hot too, even though there is actually no sex in it. *Just a lot of build up.* And also posting stories will help until I’m able to afford a phone I can do videos on (😭)

SO, I had played a gig, and a lot of my friends had come to watch it. One thing to know about my general group of friends is that every single one of them is either gay, bi, lesbian, or trans. Except for C, C is a straight, cisgender *(that is to say ‘not trans’)* man. We all love him, he’s a great ally, so we keep him around. *(Also he’s like the only friend that will actually drink beer with me).*

We decide to have a drink at the pub afterwards, losing a few friends to the temptation driven world of *a night out* (I was far too tired to go on a night out). It ended up being just myself, my fiancé, and C at the pub.

One other thing to know about my general group of friends is that we all love to flirt quite hard with each other pretty much constantly because it’s fun. *Personally* I had never done so with C, because I both did not want to make him feel awkward and I also didn’t want to accidentally uncover a spot of unchecked transphobia (“oh I could never sleep with a *tr__ny* haha” - a former friend). But last night? I don’t know. It might have been the fact I had spent a week around hundreds of porn stars - a lot of whom were lovely, but there were a few who (I will not be mentioning names) seemed to revel in making small fish like myself feel even smaller: unfortunately not all women support other women.

BACK TO THE STORY STEPH YOU’RE ON A TANGENT! *yes sorry, sorry* where was I?

Ah, flirting. I do not know how it started, but just after we had bought our first drinks at the pub (well, just after C had bought our drinks 🥰) they called last orders. So we turned to C and asked if he fancied one or two more at ours as it was only around the corner *and we always have a decent selection of drinks* 💅

One or two more.

1 or 2 more.

One (1). Or. Two (2). More.

*Oh we had so many.*

Thanks for reading part 1 of this sexless and potentially boring story (but I think it’s hot so I’m telling it to you, and trust me, part 2 is hotter, and it’s coming tomorrow)

(And yes, the picture is entirely unrelated, I simply could not take any yesterday due to my aforementioned phone troubles 😶)

small collection of photos from my last day at xbiz 💅 only ..

small collection of photos from my last day at xbiz 💅

only _slightly_ stressed about the fact I can’t do any videos until I have a new phone - I literally didn’t take any bookings for this month because I wanted to focus on making a load of videos so I rlly do not know what I’m gonna do considering I can’t do that and _also_ don’t have any work booked 😶😭

really thought my phone still had a good few months left 😮‍💨

Edit: okay yeah my phone is rapidly trying to brick itself - opening practically any app takes like 5-10% of my battery, gets hot really easily, and it’s so slow all the time right now. I really dont know what to do - I thought I’d have more time to save up for a good one but I don’t so there’s a high chance at the moment that I’m going to be stuck with something really bad for a few months 😭

Which is your favourite? 1, 2, or 3?

Which is your favourite? 1, 2, or 3?

I *love* a full length mirror 😍 (Also some sad news: I gues..

I *love* a full length mirror 😍

(Also some sad news: I guess it’s just pictures and clips under 3 minutes until I can get a new phone, I can film things with my phone perfectly fine regardless of length, but when I try and load anything longer than like 3-4 minutes it just stops loading suddenly 😭 - why are phones so expensive lmfao I swear they didn’t previously cost this much 💀)

this clip is *much* shorter than the ‘get dressed with me’ f..

this clip is *much* shorter than the ‘get dressed with me’ from Friday (that my phone still can’t load so far 😭) tell me I’m hot pls x

ughhhhhh my phone’s being annoying and won’t upload the get ..

ughhhhhh my phone’s being annoying and won’t upload the get dressed with me video from yesterday (my phone is finally starting to properly die I guess 😭)

So in the meantime *before I’m awake enough to attempt to transfer it to my laptop to upload* here’s 3 photos, one from before I went out, and 2 from when I got home lmao

Try on my new dresses with me 🥰 I’m absolutely in love with..

Try on my new dresses with me 🥰

I’m absolutely in love with these 2 dresses, thank you so much to the kind soul who gave me a huge tip last week which allowed me to have this mini shopping spree ❤️❤️❤️

*(unrelated: I’m not gonna be able to have sex until like Monday because I have people staying with me, so if I seem *very graphically horny* at even the slightest provocation in my messages for the next few days, that’s why)*

Get undressed with me after a lil house party I went to last..

Get undressed with me after a lil house party I went to last night xxx

I seem to be on the mend after my *lil mental wobble* the past couple of weeks, thank you so much to those of you who stuck around 🥹🥹🥹

Here’s what you can expect over the next couple of weeks:

*This week:*
Wednesday/Thursday: I’m going clothes shopping to get some outfits to wear at XBIZ in Amsterdam and will do a haul try-on - *as well as hopefully making myself look sexy in some nice lingerie because I have thoroughly missed feeling sexy*

Friday/Saturday: I have a gig so there’ll hopefully be a get dressed/get undressed with me video *though I will have houseguests who don’t know about my OnlyFans so it may just be pictures*

*Next week:*
Monday-Friday: I’m in Amsterdam for XBIZ and will be posting photos of all of my outfits - both for the actual events and for my day-to-day wanders about the city 🥰 *(sidenote here: I *hate* flying, I know it’s not a long flight but what do you usually do when flying somewhere to occupy yourself?)*

Saturday: another gig, another cool outfit

And after all that I’m gonna be working on some kind of sequel to my *rather well-received* office video 😘

*Oh *also,* some of you noticed on Twitter that I mentioned potentially changing my name (just the Steph part, I’m not changing the Shattered Polaroids part don’t worry) but I’m honestly struggling to think of a name that fits correctly 🤔*

hey everyone, I’m really sorry I’ve not posted much recently..

hey everyone, I’m really sorry I’ve not posted much recently or been *on it* with answering my DMs: I’ve been having a rough time mentally and just generally feeling ugly due to things out of my control, so I haven’t had the motivation to make myself look nice almost at all and I just wanna sit and cry all day every day

I hope you understand ❤️

I feel so pretty in white lingerie, *I should get more of it..

I feel so pretty in white lingerie, *I should get more of it, shouldn’t I?* 🤔

Get undressed with me while I uhhhhhhh rant/divulge to you m..

Get undressed with me while I uhhhhhhh rant/divulge to you my reasons for not having posted properly this week lol

Was debating whether or not to post this last night *(well technically right now but it’ll be last night when you read this so yeah)* but I decided to go ahead and post it in the end - scheduled for 7am because I want a big lie in tomorrow *and I don’t want to wake up early enough to have second thoughts and delete the video lol x*

Watch it with sound if you wanna hear about my shitty week (it’s not even a shitty week it’s literally just a very very shitty Tuesday morning that I sat crying about for 2 days) and watch it muted if you simply just wanna see me take my clothes off bc I still look cute even if I feel a bit down at the moment.

It’s just really weird because at the moment the doctor and I don’t know if the patches will change things or if there’s a bigger issue to do with how my body processes estrogen and if there is a bigger issue *I Do Not Know What I Will Do* because it would basically mean medical transition cannot work for me and that would break me. So what I could really do with is a *huge* hug from all of you 🥺❤️

Steph xxx

PS if you notice me using *italics* a lot, it’s because I try as hard as I can to type things how I would say them out loud and there’s always a lot of asides in any ramblings I do *as I'm sure you’ve noticed in videos where I talk a lot*

so I’m on patches now instead of pills for my estrogen, Doc ..

so I’m on patches now instead of pills for my estrogen, Doc hopes my body will absorb it better *and make back the progress I lost over the past few months.*

I kinda *hate* seeing the patches on me though so pls make me feel better about that guys 🥺

*(Also enjoy the fact that I’m showing most of my face while having no makeup on lmao)*

Sorry if I’m a bit MIA this week - I just found out that my ..

Sorry if I’m a bit MIA this week - I just found out that my body stopped absorbing estrogen properly and has spent the last few months overproducing testosterone to compensate: effectively detransitioning me for the past 3 months so I’ve been going backwards and I don’t know why.

And finding that out this morning, as well as being unable to find a pharmacy to fill my prescriptions is making me have a bit of a breakdown so I may be a bit *not altogether focused* this week

Very sorry guys, I just need several big hugs😭

I know I’ve worn this dress a lot recently but in my defence..

I know I’ve worn this dress a lot recently but in my defence I look great in it and my partner wanted me to look as much like arm candy as possible for a party so who am I to say no to that?

last night vs this morning gods I am so hungover but I sti..

last night vs this morning

gods I am so hungover but I still feel cute 🥺🥺🥺