🔥 Happy Friday! Just reminding you how my body looks like in case you forget. Tip $5 for more.
If you want me to cosplay or stream myself building my PC nude, donate to my fundraiser ❤️
https://onlyfans.com/249714972/katarinaishii
Creator Recommendation
🌟 If you wanted to see another half Chinese and half White creator, I recommend @erasedweeaboo-vip
Similarly, she puts her personality into her content and page, is also a weeb gamer like myself, and is just straight up adorable. Tell her I sent you 💕💕
💕 Tip $5 if you want more wholesome content like this 💕
This is the above mentioned book by the talented @nastyavalentine
https://tsegeek.com/nastyavalentine/CYBERHORNY_Nastya_Valentine.pdf
I will post later but here’s 8 min with some of my personal annotations and thoughtful questions you are free to answer.💕
If you want to see cosplay and gaming, contribute to my fundraiser for January ❤️
https://onlyfans.com/249714972/katarinaishii
🔥 special rewards for those who spam like my post such as entering a raffle for free content
My 15 y r old art work.
🔥 Tip $5 if you want to see me do more of this.
I actually made this post to ask a question to those who are more technologically inclined. So I’m building a gaming PC and want to do it on a budget. What do you think of this so far:
https://pcpartpicker.com/list/3QPsHz
If you have twitch, follow https://twitch.tv/thestormdiver 😊
Remember: I will do raffles for those who spam like my posts / tip regularly at the end of every month; it’s a free way to win stuff like the video. ❤️
🔥 Tip $5 if you like my taste in games 🥰
🌟 Tip $10 if you want to game with me 🥺💕
If you have a private wow server lmk.
For the full length video, you get loyalty rewards if you’ve been subscribed (can’t have been unrenewed)
— subscribed for 2 months = $10 off
— subscribed for 3 months = $20 off
— subscribed for 4 months = $25 off
— subscribed for 5 or more months = $30 off
If you’ve been subscribed for over 4 months without not renewing, you can get the 15 min video for $25
Let me know if you’re interested.
So I am looking Into doing cosplay and even nude gaming streaming but I have no idea how to go about it. I’m currently in the works of building a gaming PC and setting up my room for the Lego Colosseum so I can have a presentable space to build it. Here’s some of the games I have so far in my steam collection. As I mentioned before, I bought a memory foam mattress, hoping for better sleep and a dresser to make space in my room. I should really prioritize my well being and mental health more which means I should get better sleep, clean up my living space more often, drink more water, and so on!
🌟 Which cosplay would you like to see? If you don’t know how it looks, feel free to Google it. I like playful and colorful costumes the most.
🔥 Cosplays I plan and already have the materials for: Future Diary, Kaguya-sama: Love Is War, Death Note (Obv), Squid Games (how can I not), and more. :-) Cosplay is quite expensive but it seems like a fun and worth while investment.
🌸 Leaving tomorrow so I will be doing all the customs then. ❤️ appreciate your patience.
“Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.”
🔥 Tip $5 if you want to support my cats 🐈 💕
I love it when subscribers send me pictures of their pets. Feel free to send me pictures and tell me about them and their personality. Pets are definitely a great cure for loneliness and depression. 💕
—
A little thing about free will
When I think about the topic of free will, I make a distinction between free will on a micro and macro scale. We can’t choose a lot of aspects about us; we can’t choose our parents, where we’re born, our disposition and preferences for the most part. I can however choose to move my left arm if I so chose to. I may have a greater disposition to smoking addiction due to hereditary factors but I can choose not to smoke and get addicted. We’re educated by the values of our culture but we can also step outside those values and reflect on them from our own subjectivity. There’s a lot of aspects of our existence we cannot choose and have to accept, but that doesn’t mean our date is determined. We can make minor choices in our lives that have a great impact on the way our lives turn out. Sometimes the smallest little changes you make in your routine can have the highways impact in the long run. Keep making those tiny changes to improve yourself even if you don’t see its benefits immediately. I’m always here to help with dating or emotional advice ❤️
🌟 Tip $5 if you want to see the wholesome video we made 🥰
💕 And most aesthetic apartment / person goes to … @nastyavalentine 💕
I’m so proud of my model shots I took of her. She is seriously one of the most gorgeous women I know. Her apartment was home design decoration porn that spoke to my heart and soul. A mix of intellectual chic and cute & kawaii — she also convinced me to invest in a comfortable mattress. I have a hard time sleeping and am cheap af when it comes to basic necessities so I may actually invest in myself and my well being. (Weird, I know). I thought I had a lot of Pokémon plushies but she puts my collection to shame.
I also got her a bunch of cat-themed gifts. ❤️
I will be sending out the full GGG video as PPV later today! It’s almost an hour long.
🔥 Tip $5 if you want more content like this ❤️
Feel free to recommend a book you want me to read.
Here’s Hysterical Literature Part 2: An excerpt out of Grundrisse by Karl Marx. I’m glad I got positive feedback from the last one so here’s the second one. 🥰 I like hysterical literature because it feels like a balanced intersection between the physical and intellectual — I also like that it focuses on the woman’s pleasure for once and not just about pleasing the man which is mainly what porn consists of (I admit that I cater to this expectation as well). I really want to add audio content into my page, now that I have a better mic, it may be possible. If you have any scripts you think would be fitting for me to read, send it my way.
The GGG will hopefully be edited by tomorrow or the next day. I want to thank the subscriber who volunteered (I hope to pay him at least something for his time) We shot from different angles with many different cameras so that’s why the editing is a bit more difficult for me. It wasn’t just editing one piece of footage but multiple of them and integrating them seamlessly. I will try to have two edited versions of it — a shorter one where I post on my page and the longer version which will be up for PPV. Both girls were amazing to work with. ❤️
🌟 If you want to see content like the GGG, the girl creator who I collaborated with, asianvixen4u , has a lot of similar content on her page. She has such wide ranging diversity in terms of content, and not behind a paywall (a lot of GG and even a gang bang) Plus she was super amazing to work with overall, meticulous, practical, and caring. I highly recommend her page if you’re looking for quality / quantity of content itself (high quality and lots of it). I definitely plan to work with her and Christy Love again. ❤️ If you do subscribe, please let me it’s from my page. 💕
🌟 I will respond to all messages soon, later tonight or tomorrow. Sorry, my depression held me back a bit and my inbox is flooded, but I will get to it! I may not respond as much today because I am going to visit fellow creator @nastyavalentine! I got her so many cat related gifts. I’ll post them once I give them to her. If you want to find a creator who I think is most like me, definitely check her out. The way she runs her page is unique and creative, plus she’s intellectually engaging in discussion. If you do check her out, tell her it’s from my page. 🥰
I appreciate you all. 💕
Just for you guys. ❤️ Will be sending special reward to people who spam like so you can get some likes in. Raffle, as well.
This is a video from my new camera! I hope you like the increased quality, I will be posting more BG content soon. I leave on the fifth — so that’s when I can return to customs and do them all. I didn’t forget about anyone.
Please message me if you can’t renew. Thanks!
🌟 What do you think of the following quotation:
« Beauty always has an element of strangeness. I do not mean a deliberate cold form of strangeness, for in that case it would be a monstrous thing that had jumped the rails of life. But I do mean that it always contains a certain degree of strangeness, of simple, unintended, u n c o n s c I o u s strangeness, and that this form of strangeness is what gives it the right to be called beauty.
It is its hallmark, its special characteristic. Reverse the proposition and try to imagine a commonplace beauty! And how could this necessary, incompressible, infinitely varied strangeness, dependent upon environment, climate, habits, upon race, religion and the temperament of the artist, ever be controlled, amended, corrected by utopian rules, excogitated in some little temple or other of learning somewhere on the planet, without mortal danger to art itself?
This element of strangeness which constitutes and defines individuality, without which there is no beauty, plays in art (and may the precision of this comparison excuse its triviality) the role of taste or flavouring in cookery; if the individual usefulness or the degree of nutritious value they contain be excepted, viands differ from each other only by the idea they reveal to the tongue. »
— Charles Baudelaire, Baudelaire: Selected Writings on Art and Artists
🔥 Tip $5 if you want to see more
💕 Tip $10 if you want me to post the second one
Happy new year! This is something new I am trying out; please let me know what you think.
Here’s my take on hysterical literature (reading aloud while sitting on a vibrator, fighting the urge to cum). I am reading The Rebel by Albert Camus. I apologize for it being a bit fast. Next time, I will work on slowing it down a bit. I have a new camera so I can easily do that now — I got the Panasonic LUMIX G95. It’s my first try though so hope you like it. I would love to do more of this for you if you’re into it. I have another one where I read Karl Marx 😂 What should I read next? I may try to get that wand vibratory thing since I’m mainly by clit stimulation.
—
And so someone decided to send me hate about what I post on my OF page, how my nude selfies are mostly waist up:
I post a lot of body shots waist up because I’m not comfortable with my body, I suffer with a extreme body image issues (body dysmorphia disorder).
Shouldn’t I post what I feel comfortable with posting? There’s plenty of pages who don’t post nudity OR BG content & people are complaining I post pictures of my boobs too much? Talk about entitlement.
Isn’t it great that I have ONE part of my body that I actually feel confident in? So what there’s an angle I prefer to take pictures of, everyone has that. I really hate it when people complain about how I only post one nudity angle pretty much, I do have other angles on my page, thank you very much but yes, I struggle with intense body image issues and have been hospitalized for anorexia when I went down to 80 lbs. I’m still not healthy in how I perceive myself and am working on that.
YES I do want to please subscribers and post other angles on my page but i won’t do that if it will put my mental health in jeopardy again and make me go back to inpatient…
I don’t like talking about this part of myself but I guess I’ll mention it if someone complains I post too many of the same angle of nude selfies. Well, you know what, at least I post nudity, so if you’re going to be an ungrateful twat, go ahead and unsubscribe because I don’t appreciate people like you as subscribers.
I appreciate people who allow me to post what I feel comfortable posting.
🌟 For those who have video editing experience, I can pay you if you edit the GGG footage. I don’t have much experience editing videos and I want to get it to you all asap.
Stream started at 01/01/2022 06:58 am
Content Warning in the livestream: suicide, depression, mental illness, abusive relationships
Happy New Year. :) thank you all for those who showed up. I had a great time spending the new year with you. I am glad a lot of people interacted and shared their experiences in the discussion. I appreciated all those who tipped so thank you. I do talk about some particularly difficult parts of my life in this live stream from my first relationship (which turned out to be abusive) and my relationship to depression and suicide. I talk about these things because I know I’m not alone in them and so if you find what I say relatable, I hope I let you know that you also aren’t alone and can always reach out if you need help. ❤️
🌟 Would it be easier for you to resubscribe at a cheaper subscription price? If so, what price? I mean, I already offer discounts if people actually came up to me and talk to to me …
Share pictures of your cats or memes plz. (SpongeBob or anything but I love me some good SpongeBob memes)
—
Most of my life, I grew up alone and without friends. I was often alienated from my peers for being too “weird” and bullied for my awkward mannerisms. I adapted early to primarily online communication since my closest friends were my online ones I met from games like maple story and WoW. I felt it was easier to express who I was online because their perceptions of who I am was not filtered by behaviors out of my control such as tics and speech irregularities. I am judged solely by the ideas I express in our conversations which I think are more representative of my being anyways. I don’t really need any in real life interaction because I feel my online ones fulfill the same social need.
I grew up feeling ugly and undesirable. I grew up believing I was “retarded” because I was diagnosed on the spectrum at s e v e n years old. I was called a retard too many times to count and at this point I use the term to spite them. Growing up ugly made me feel I had to develop my other faculties such as my personality and intellect. I’ve been told you have an “ugly girls personality” whatever that means lol. For most of my life I overly identified with my intellect, basically subsumed who I was (I saw myself as a “brain in a vat”).
All throughout my schooling years, I was bullied relentlessly even when I actually tried to fit in and be normal. At that point I felt there was no need in pretending so I decided then and there to stop caring about what anyone (except my family) thinks and just focus my concern on creative self expression and my ethical conduct with my interactions in the world around me. I encountered far too many cruelties in my life; I don’t want to add that to another person’s life by being cruel myself. I want to be the person that reminds people there’s still goodness left in the world, that makes them feel hopeful and forgiving. I want to be the person who makes them feel heard and understood.
A big reason why my Onlyfans focuses on emotional support is because it’s lacking in the world for men. I don’t think there’s proper resources dedicated to men in many places, for example men as sexual abuse victims (which we can’t forget do exist). So much of men’s emotional outlets are channeled into violence, sexual energy is a much better means of emotional relief — I want to offer a mixture of both — hyper-focusing on the sexual at the expense of the emotional will only leave you unsatisfied because you will be left with all the emotional pain you had to begin with, you’ve reached the end but there’s no resolution. Repression causes more repression, till they pile up and you don’t know which of your problems are caused by the other, and so on.
Emotional expression helps heal emotional suffering — although it may be initially difficult and perhaps painful, you learn a lot about yourself as both a sexual and emotional being. You learn to see what you are truly deserving of as a person — I will tell you what that is: you deserve to be listened to, you deserve to experience what you experience (if you feel sad, then be sad. There’s no comparing sadness or that someone doesn’t have a right to feel sad because another has it worse). You deserve to be respected as a human being (the Kantien in me) with means of his own. A huge social issue for me is the high male suicide rate — partly the lack of emotional resources available just for men (and stigma). My ex committed suicide when he was 22 (he should have been 28 now); I wish there was a way he could have been helped. It’s hard not to feel guilty or think I could have actually prevented it; all I can do is try to prevent future suicides from occurring by being emotionally receptive and open.
Some pictures of things in my life that have brought me joy. Who’s also a loner and doing nothing tonight?
I wonder if you can listen to copyrighted music on live stream.
🔥 Tip $10 for a sexy audio recording
🌸 Tip $20 for a sexy audio recording + I can draw you a picture on my tablet of what you want
❤️ Tip $30 for all the above + surprise
Plus last day for cock rating narrative being $50
I made one of these corny “vision boards” for TikTok. One of my favorite subscribers made me a list of tik tok trends to do 🥺💕 if you’re good at tiktok, feel free to help me with this lol
www.tiktok.com/@katarinaishii
I would like to travel more this next year though. I just like making these videos way too much. What’s your goals for the new year and what will you do to achieve them? 💕
🔥 Tip $5 if you would want me to be your New Years kiss. 🥺💕
I have a lot of messages to respond to, so if I haven’t responded yet, I will get to it, I promise. 🥺❤️ I haven’t forgotten about anyone, I pinky swear! I updated my website at Katarinaishii.com — let me know what you think about the new layout and color scheme. The GGG was rescheduled for tomorrow. 🥰 I can’t wait to have so much stuff to post on the feed for you all.
🌟 Have you ever subscribed to an Onlyfans page from one of those spam Ads some creators post?
💕 I’m making content later today (BG) so hopefully I’ll have a lot posted on the feed this week to make up for the dry spell.
Okay, I know it’s not THAT great but I’m proud of it because it took forever for me to do. I want to get better at making videos and using it as a creative form of expression. It’s a unique medium that has a lot of flexibility. I want to hopefully expand to other areas such as twitch and patreon. I just want to be able to save up money, pay my student loans and credit card debt, and hopefully exist somewhat peacefully. :,(
I’m pretty lucky I don’t feel anything from all the mean comments I receive on Reddit for having an OF. Granted, they can’t construct a logical argument if their life depended on it. It’s funny when they realize their arguments are failing and they go straight to insulting my appearance or calling me ugly. Bro, do you think I’m actually going to feel bad a rando on the internet called me ugly? Please, I had my whole HS school essentially call me that all four years. There’s no words that can hurt me. It does get exhausting having all these people hate you for a dumb reason like existing + having an OF. At least come up with better arguments so I can feel intellectually stimulated on a basic level while I simultaneously cringe. Ah, there’s no end to the hate I receive simply for having an OF and trying to make a damn living.
>> Myth: Onlyfans girls have no self-respect <<
Most of the time, people will claim onlyfans girls (sex workers) have no self-respect or dignity, which justifies society’s mistreatment of them. Let’s take apart why exactly do OF creators lack self-respect, what does it mean for an individual to have it, and what are the perceived social implications of losing it. What makes sex work particularly undignified, compared to say, working long hours at a factory barely meeting minimum wage or an adjunct that has a full schedule of classes to teach and a long list of articles they must get publish in order to be considered for tenure?
They will say, being naked on camera is what makes them lack self-respect. My question in return is, why does nudity imply a loss of dignity? This all seems to be connected to the religious notion of the body being a “sacred temple” and the equally archaic idea of women needing to preserve their modesty in front of everyone besides her husband. What is considered to be dignified differs from culture to culture; a woman showing her hair or wearing her skirt above the knees in a Muslim household would be seen lacking self-respect or dignity but in our Western world, she would be labeled your average girl.
Their argument that OF girls lack dignity and self-respect is simply a boring reiteration of earlier religious arguments made against any action women took that moved them more in the direction of independence. OF girls lacking self-respect seems to be an ad hoc reasoning for explaining why they are against OF creators. Most of the time they fail to define what it means to lack dignity or respect and why this lack of these qualities cause them to be undeserving of basic human kindness (some have argued further).
What I see as their real problem:
Onlyfans makes women more independent; as a result, they are becoming less dependent on men. Men, in turn, feel threatened by this growing independence and are becoming alienated from this image they constructed of themselves as the “provider” or “breadwinner”.
Here’s some natural sun selfies ❤️ I’m doing a GGG collaboration later today so I can’t wait to share with you the results when I’m done. 🥰.
—
Why do we like who we like?
If x, y, z are characteristics I like about a certain individual: I’d ask myself whether I’d still like the person if they lacked x, then y, then z, & we can continue this thought experiment with varying combinations of traits they theoretically possess or lack.
People, for the most part, judge an individual holistically, but in the end, their judgements can be reduced to some finite set of characteristics. It is intractable to come up with that set. We simply do not know it. Thus, holistic judgements are our inability to enumerate that set & compute it logically. Our brain does computations that we are unaware of in the same sense in which we recognize a facial expression "holistically" a la Wittgenstein, etc.
If D = ex & C = current object of affection
Let X = {things about D that I like}
Y = {things about D I don't like}
X' = {things about C I like}
Y' = {things about C I don't like}
It's sufficiently hard to know what's in each of those sets. It’s even harder to know what's in their intersections and complements.
I may be projecting traits or I may really want X,Y but is imagining X',Y'. I may be seeing an illusion of X',Y' so instead of X',Y' i'm seeing X'' = Projection(X) and Y'' = Projection(Y)
Overall, there will probably be reasonable commonality between X, X' and Y, Y'
The conclusion is that one should take a holistic approach in their assessment of a person instead of focusing on their individual characteristics.
Inconclusive.
🌟 Were you surprised when you subscribed to my page? If yes, What were you surprised by? What were your prior expectations about me and my page?
💕 The year is almost coming to a close, which means I will send those who spam like my posts, some nice sexy content. ❤️
—
Here’s my solution to how to find a partner lol
How to find a partner
You have a finite amount of time and potentially unlimited options, and so there must be ways to assess people and whether they would make an appropriate partner (“relationship material” or be a worthy investment). It's good to establish a baseline where there are non-negotiable characteristics that must be reached (we can set the baseline to 50%) -- and we have the qualities we are willing to compromise on. Once involved in a partnership, we can make a list of their personal assets and liabilities — measure it using the baseline. Each quality is assigned a value (the higher you rate a trait, as you would guess, gives it a higher value) and do the same for the liabilities: the assets add to the baseline and the liabilities will subtract from the calculation of the baseline + assets.
(Flaws of my model: Even if we accept the premise that an individual can be reduced to a set of characteristics, this model discounts the impact of variable interaction. The combination of two or more characteristics may produce a reaction in both parties that is greater than the individual reactions of each separate characteristic.)
My thought process when writing this was centered on the issue of Optimal Stopping, which is a decision making problem that one is confronted with when faced with a line of potential options. As a rational actor, we preferably would like to choose, when possible, the best of those options. Decision-making, in this case, requires the accumulation of data and some form of relative standard by which the data extracted from the potential options can be compared with that of the other. When choosing a partner, we judge them by drawing comparisons between previous partners, crushes, or potential love interests. However, a rational decision involving love (oxymoron?) cannot always be made by comparison because there are other factors pertinent to our courtship conundrum.
If we do not want to decide our fate with a mate in this way, we can always apply the Threshold Rule where there is a set percentile that the potential love interest must make or exceed before they can be considered. I see this as the baseline (non-negotiable qualities that an Individual must possess in order for me to seriously consider them as a potential match — an example of a highly ranked characteristic is a certain type of intelligence — analytic and logical thinking is a favorite). Anyone below this baseline is simply not entertained. There are qualities that are desirable, but not necessary, as long as they are above the baseline of what I consider to be acceptable (such as attractiveness — age fades, beauty becomes a bore, and intelligence infinitely entertains...).
The problem with finding the Optimal Stopping time is when the so-called “best” option has been rendered long gone within the search itself or that the time, holding value in the sense that it implicitly contains gains and losses, (gains when time is used wisely and the time spent toward a goal amounts fruitfully rather than a loss, which is when one has wasted their time striving for a goal, receiving nothing in return) Is considered to be a loss due to the fact that the tedious hours spent toward the pursuit of the “perfect” partner could have been used more productively.
I finally have some good news — the wallet I thought I had lost was mailed to my parents house so now it’s in my possession once again *reunited and it felt so good*. I’ve had this trusty wallet for about three to four years now; it has served me well, ol’ faithful. He now gratefully returns to his duties guarding my money in my purse. A woman and her wallet; a bond like no other… okay, I’m taking this too far and will drop while I’m ahead. Pictured above is said wallet.
💕 I have a GGG collaboration tomorrow. Feel free to send any requests you have. I may take on any customs you have if they can be easily implemented.
🌟 Are you free New Years Eve at night?
❤️ Once again, please double or triple message me because dms get lost in my inbox. No I won’t assume you’re crazy or needy so don’t worry about that.
🥰 Spam like my posts for a surprise at the end of the year.
Here’s a couple full body shots, first one showing the mysterious thigh gap you hear girls talking about. Being part of pro ana tumblr in HS, I was made aware of the ideal thigh gap very early but luckily for me, I didn’t have to do anything to achieve it except basically exist.
Remember: if you spam like my posts, I will put you on a special list where I will send you exclusive sexy stuff at the end of the year. I keep note of all the people who do this and will create a nice bundle that will maintain incentive to spam like my posts this coming year. (Every month i will make a list of those who spam like my posts and send them all something special)
I fixed my Amazon wishlist so there’s now an address!
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/6UTP3XC64BHW?ref_=wl_share
Hope you had a happy Christmas. What are your New Years resolutions for the next year? I don’t really make them because I feel whatever resolutions I have aren’t necessarily new for the year but ones I’ve always been working toward. The new year doesn’t incentivize me toward making changes that I wasn’t already working toward in the first place. I do hope to do some traveling next year finally.
Christmas special — only today: $50 for Cock Rating Narrative usually $65. Four videos (still working on the fourth for many of them ongoing but I’m getting there).
Feel free to double or triple message me because messages get lost and I don’t see them so it will help me. Please please message me if you’re expecting something from me.
Remember If you spam like my posts, at the end of the year I will send something sexy & nice to you :)
Good news bros: I resolved things with my family and am staying — so I have some collaborations in the works for this month and early January and can respond to messages again. My parents are in their 70’s pretty set in their ways so it’s a bit difficult for them to admit to anything. I love my parents a lot more than anything and it’s tough being put in these situations. Sorry I was such a downer yesterday, my parents are easily the people who can truly make me feel suicidally depressed more than any love interest could. I appreciate all the support I’ve been getting. It being such a slow last couple of days dish that make it any better unfortunately and was making me even more depressed. I’m excited I can m e e t @nastyavalentine now! ❤️ Yay! So I’m leaving on Jan 6.
I will make several of these polls to make sure I know more about what makes subscribers comfortable and uncomfortable so when I send out PPV, I will only send to people who say they are okay with this specific kink. Race play is a huge source of traffic for me so I tend to cater to it but in the next BG stuff, I’ll leave it out for people who aren’t into it and will make it up for PPV. If other kinks make you uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to let me know.
🌟 Are you comfortable with me sending you PPV with themes such as Race Play?
❤️ For those into race play, what got you into it? What aspects appeal to you? (Feel free to answer in comments or messages). The US has a particularly complex relationship with race, rife with heavy conflict that spans generations. A part of me thinks the taboo nature of race play and it’s unspoken social rules are what attracts people but I don’t know. For me personally, it falls under my rules that if it’s a kink that can’t land you in j a i l and doesn’t cause non consensual harm, then I have no place to judge. I sometimes think people take it too far especially on the subreddit race play and will definitely put these men in their place if they try to say I am that in reality.
Once again, I remind you all: I don’t judge you on your kinks and you can feel free to express what you enjoy and desire.
It's been another slow couple of days, which sucks for me and maybe good for them. I don't really have any alone time here so yeah, customs may take longer than expected because both of my parents work at home. I don't post a lot of full body videos or pictures, I hope as a new years resolution that I feel more comfortable with my body. I am sure when you see me, you wouldn't describe me as fat or anything close to it but unfortunately It's hard to see myself any differently. I'm still working hard on having a healthy body image and relationship to food. :,( I don't starve myself or anything but sometimes I wish I had the will power to do so. anyways, hi. :)
Guess my height. I'm 105lbs for better context
Would anyone be able to make a live stream tonight around 10pm? — oops I forgot this Is New York time so it will probably be 8 pacific time ☺️
We can talk about the holidays, the stuff that sucks likes families, traumatic memories, loneliness and the good stuff that we can do to make it better ❤️
So I may invest in a new camera that will make me less reliant on my BG partner to make content because he’s been unreliable as of late and I need to find someone more reliable. I try to hold myself to a certain standard in putting out content and I feel like I’ve been letting you all down on that since I haven’t out out any BG content in a while. I assure you, if I had access to it, I would be posting it at this very second. I’m still upset about being made to feel like the ugly third wheel a month ago. Sometimes it’s forgotten that I have feelings or that I can feel jealousy if there’s unequal treatment between me and another. That day I felt truly ugly and I am still annoyed by that. I rejected doing a GGB with her because I felt super shitty watching them passionately makeup as if I wasn’t in the room at all. GOD. As much as I would have liked to help another creator and gain her some exposure, my mental health comes first and I shouldn’t do anything that will put that at risk.
I am still hesitant about spending too much money even though the camera will also be used for potentially making YouTube videos. Yes, while I can, I want to expand out to various channels and hopefully find a place where I belong. What’s good is a lot of these enterprises are not based on luck but a certain set of skills and knowledge that I will have to acquire. Thanks again to all those who attended last night’s live stream. Off to Cali now. On airplane. Ciao
I forgot to say the lie: I have been to a sleepover before so I will send whoever filled that in a little something. :)
Stream started at 12/22/2021 03:11 am
Life Stream 21/12/2021 -- Thanks to all who showed up to today's live stream -- I would say it was a success. I didn't expect to make any in tips because I don't prioritize that in these discussion based ones. I just like getting to know you all ^o^ so Thanks!
So when should I reschedule the live stream discussion?
I still probably will live stream tonight around 9-10pm New York even if it’s just for a little bit. Will try to tape it as well. Hope some of you can make tin ❤️
My suicidal feelings has gotten a whole lot better now that I am in a better position financially. I also get so much support and move from you guys and people on Reddit, it makes my heart feel so nice and I am so appreciative of it all. I’m considering doing a live stream tonight at 9pm (if there’s a better time, lmk) — can anyone make it? (Last day in New York) I’ll try to have it taped and post it the next day.
It will be a conversation life stream (no focus on tips unless you want to) — the topic will be our middle to high school experiences / bullying, toxic culture, beauty standards for male and females, what changes should be made, our traumatic memories and active ways of coping with them, and we can just let the discussion flow naturally as it did last time.
🌟 Can you make it at this time?
💕 If you like what I do but can’t afford to donate, there’s one thing you can do to show your appreciation: make me feel loved by spam liking my posts. Your efforts will not go unnoticed as I take note of each person who does this and puts them on a special list where at the end of the year, I’ll send something nice and sweet. 💕
OMG there was supposed to be a poll attached to my last post… okay well who wants to be on my cute newsletter where I send periodically cute stuff, positive voice messages and memes ❤️
🔥 Tip $5 if you like this lingerie set on me 🥰❤️
I’m thinking about periodically sending messages containing cute and positive stuff, I just want to melt your heart or make you smile at random moments in the week. I would send you cute pictures of animals like my kitten, positive voice messages, and funny memes.
Who would want to be on a list like this? 💕
I take videos in order to take photos / gifs out of them.
🔥 Tip $5 if you think I should post the videos of me posing on here 😉
I sent people who bought PPV a special couple videos to show my appreciation. If you buy still, I can send you, as well. ;-). I’ll probably send bundles of videos in order to make it worthwhile to you. ❤️
Round Three
— Two Truths and One Lie — (doesn’t count if you already knew prior lol)
