Not a sexy caption (rant) - - Idk,, it’s just my brain going..
Added 2023-05-08 01:19:04 +0000 UTCNot a sexy caption (rant)
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Idk,, it’s just my brain going brrrr. I can’t look at pics or photos of myself for long without wanting to cry 💀 which is super pathetic and embarrassing giving my work..
I have prob over 3k pics that will never see the light of day, because my silly mind goes “yuck”.
Just know I’m really trying to upload more and push myself more out my comfort zone, I’ve been panicking over uploads so much lately.
I do want to try more, but I just never feel like it’s worth posting that pic or it looks weird. Bc realistically I don’t think you care or see it this way I do.
It’s been weird I’ve started it by trying to be comfortable in pics and my skin. I’ve improved but I wish I could show you the amount of footage I have where I just get to extremeley overwhelmed posing or trying to look pretty and ended up in panic. Hand on my chest I never cared for pretty it leads to unwanted attention a lot of the time. I’m just a silly gal who wants to spread love and pleasure and want to make you feel good.
But it’s a little awkward when your work does rely on looks 💀.
Please please I’m not trying to gain sympathy or get compliments (plz don’t I’m mentally fucked up every compliment most say that isn’t backed up by facts feels like a dig or a long winded sarcasm) I’m just here to share me way too real struggle and to say I’m trying.
I’ve dissociation lol my mind disconnects reality often especially * my looks because half the time I’m not in my body and half the time it looks like I’m watching from the sidelines leaving place for too much imagination
