





kittties and titties 🐈 some happy pics of my beloved Russell 🥺 not so good news tho 😿 sorry if this is dark. you can skip this post if you want, it’s morbidly long and mostly for me like a diary entry to process my thoughts about this. i queued up some sexy posts for the next few days so my usual content isn’t going anywhere 😉💞
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i took Russ to the vet this week and the doctor’s call back and scan of the tests showed a suspicious mass and a thickening of the walls of his colon. it doesn’t look good. he’s a Russian Blue senior rescue cat from a shelter, i’ve had him for almost all his life and i love him dearly so i’m very anxious. his behavior and habits have been very weird recently and i can tell something abdominal has been bothering him. he got lab tests, x ray, and ultrasound for those abdominal issues like i did a few days ago, but mine was for something stupid and treatable - i thought it would be a similar just stress related inflammatory thing for him but sadly i don’t think he is as lucky. his white bloodcells count was high and more than half of his colon was affected.
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the doctor said it’s a slim chance of it being irritated bowel syndrome, so we got medication for it, and if he responds to treatment and his condition improves then it’s just that, but if it keeps progressing then i have to face that it’s cancer :’( i asked about a biopsy too, to get a quicker clear answer, i know usually they do it with a needle but because of the location, they would have to surgically investigate.
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the thing is, the vet explained a biopsy wouldn’t do any good because if they opened him up and found out that yes it was indeed cancer, they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it because it has already affected his whole colon and they couldn’t remove it because that would take his entire colon out.
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though the vet said it’s most likely cancerous and nothing can be done except give him a course of treatment for comfort and pain, i’m gonna try the IBS medication and hope it’s that; i also wanna get a second opinion from another vet so i’ll email his x-rays and lab work to my other cat’s vet. has anyone else been in a similar situation with their pet?💘😿 (i’m so sorry if you have)
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i’m pretty shook so the next few days if i’m quiet on here i’m just processing this. i’m so sad writing this, Russell is the best cat ever and he’s not just a cat he’s my buddy and my family. i want to and need to hustle more, and i will, but spending time with my furry friend is priority. there’s nothing that i detest more than having a victim mentality, and sometimes i cringe making these long posts, but it’s been really tough. the recent months have been kicking my ass. i know in the grand scheme of things there is no beginning or end, life always goes on and unfolds endlessly, there is just observation and perception and experience, at least that is what i learned in the zen practice. i don’t believe that passing is the end. it’s so sad tho no human wants to outlive their pet. everyone and everything dies, it’s bleak and fascinating and horrible, i just want my guy to be comfortable and know he’s fully loved and taken care of ❤️
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i may do a campaign with more of my prior content from the slutty stash next week, or later in may if there needs to be further diagnostics for Russ/when i know more clearly what the results are. as previously mentioned the surgery/biopsy wouldn’t really do anything in this case so that’s out of the picture, but the medication and further lab work to see his status will still add up. one of the myriad of shitty things about capitalism is the rhetoric of “save a dog/cat from a shelter! give them a nice life!” but the cost of treatment for pets is more than that of humans sometimes. i definitely spend more on my pets well being, food quality, and comfort than i do of my own and they live like royalty lol but ugh diseases can get anyone, they have no mercy.
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i’m gonna take some time off from creating new content at least till the weekend. i filmed some stuff earlier this week that i’ll be posting, and i’ll be online. thankfully i have a built up collection of many, many terabytes of nastya porn for times like these, so thank you so fucking much for bearing with me 💕
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i’ve already been delayed in making new stuff because of everything involved with my move, and it drives me crazy because all i want is to calmly and confidently go back to doing the creative work i love. unfortunately i can’t take full days off from being online because inactivity affects my subscribers leaving, which is understandable if i put myself in your place, but i’ll do what i can to play tetris with my schedule and prioritize my real life while still being active. any pre-planned customs or sexting sessions or video/phone calls for this weekend can still be done. i’m gonna post a tip menu for May soon and i’ll send out the new tesla videos from the last campaign later this week 💜💜💜 aside from this post, i’ll run my page as i usually do.
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if you’ve read through all this, know i’m really thankful for your understanding and support, you’re not just helping me you’re helping my pets who i love dearly 🙇🏻♀️🥺💜💘💘