boo! did this SLUT O WEEN kitty scare you? jfc i'm so pale y..

boo! did this SLUT O WEEN kitty scare you? jfc i'm so pale you can probably see all my veins and internal organs, not just the P U S S Y ><

ppl used to always ask me why i didn't show my pussy when i first started my OF and 1. it's my page, i show what i want or don't want; and 2. there's no real like gatekeeping reason. i mean, explicit pussy pics sell better in ppv or as optional purchases, and to be fully transparent some VERY explicit ones i will have an occasional financial incentive for because i also need to make a living, but i also just didn't think it looked pretty enough to post on the feed. girls are conditioned by society from a very little age that our genitalia is shameful and ugly. add to that, toxic partners who have commented bad things about my 🐱 and i just was kind of embarrassed to show it at all without a paywall. i would also refuse certain custom requests like spreading it, tasting it etc, which now obviously i've gotten more comfortable with as i get comfortable in my own body. as you can see. 😎 my OF has evolved from tame lingerie pics in the beginning to straight up porn, and i love it. sometimes my friends will ask me if I'm afraid to do this, if someone will find out, if i feel any ingrained shame, and my answer is no. i started slow, my evolution was slowly paced to make me comfortable with performing various acts on camera, i have done irl SW in the past but the online world is COMPLETELY different. i use the same artist name for my music/films as i do in my digital porn which some may say is disadvantageous, but i believe in integration of the personality in an already fragmented world. i don't give two shits about employers finding out because i'm not a career climber and i want to make a living off of my art - any day job i've had was to sustain me in times of artistic burnout, not to actually bankroll my life. for 99% of my family i am "dead to them" for being *different* in general, not just explicit stuff, and it's a bummer and i wish it wasn't like this, but it does offer me a certain type of freedom.

i've heard porn stars say similar things and even when i was little i looked up to porn stars, strippers, courtsans. i knew there was something deeper to it than glamorous looks and i make it my mission to deconstruct sexuality. my thing was i never felt attractive enough to be in a field where my success depends on my looks. in our time this is no longer true - success depends on advertising and marketability - but my ingrained beliefs about my looks are still there. only recently I have started feeling more sexy about myself. i'm not naive, i know to a certain niche of people who like slutty alt girls i'm very attractive, but my inner overachieving demon goes berserk when i'm perceived as anything less than amazing. in every area of my life i've strived for perfection, always failed, and had many an invisible anxiety attack chasing something that one can never achieve because it doesn't exist in this reality.

perfection is an illusion. but the body image demons in the head feel very real, and that’s not limited to things like “is my face ugly” “am i too fat” “why the hell do i slouch like a quasimodo” but also to intimate areas like insecurity about my small breast size and what my pussy looks like. haters online tell me nasty shit all the time but i usually brush that off. it has been hard to erase former sex partners negative critique / abusive relationship rhetoric. i 💕 LOVE 💕 compliments... like... are you kidding me lol i love to be showered in praise, i have such a praise kink fr, but there is always a part of me that doesn’t fully believe them. the impostor syndrome is very deep. i'm working on it in therapy and with new coping mechanisms but it's a slow process of unlearning. anyway... here's my fucking pussy! be nice. i usually keep it hairless but there is a little hair 🤭 tip if you want to see a set of more explicit ones in your inbox 🙇‍♀️