Yesterday I promised you I’d write a bit about what I’m erot..

Yesterday I promised you I’d write a bit about what I’m erotically curious about right now. It’s with regards to the sexual power of ageing and what it means to me as a mature woman (who turns 50 in just 24 days). But first a photo from my vintage amateur xxx vault to set the stage. This photo is of me in 1998. I’m 27. I’m wearing my first set of latex opera length gloves. I’m on my knees. For some this may be read as a message of submission. However, my subjective experience at the time was intertwined with other elements of power dynamics. It was mixed with exhibitionism, worship and Goddess energy (with me as Goddess, obviously). As I knelt I was putting myself on display to be admired and adored. There was sexual power in my posture. I think I felt all these things because at my core I’m a switch and I’m aroused by erotic rituals of devotion and connection. I’ve noticed with age I’ve begun to be treated with reverence and esteem. Some of it is symbolic. For example, my hair with its silver streak inspires people to call me Ma’am instead of Miss even if just the day before I was a full brunette and they referred to me as Miss. Some of it is experience. For example, with a decade of burlesque performance under my garter-belt I was treated as a mentor by the neophytes to the scene. Now with my return to porn I’m experiencing a sexual admiration that is different than what I experienced when I was younger. It's a point of view, I think, influenced by what we see in popular media— the vivacious cougar on the hunt for her junior male prey. Certainly a sexy idea in many ways and an experience I've enjoyed in the past and will enjoy again I'm sure. However, I don’t feel bound by this trope. Maybe it’s because I’m a switch or maybe because I’m also a renegade for many things sexual. In any case, I’m currently fascinated by what it would be like to worship at the alter of a nubile man and cater to his erotic desires as my Daddy and in return have him treat me as his divine treasure. I’m so curious about what it would be like to create and share porn with these themes and this imagery. I feel it would be so powerful and exhilarating.