Trust in Porn I’ve written a few entries exploring truth in..

Trust in Porn I’ve written a few entries exploring truth in adult entertainment and services. Now I’d like to reflect on the role of trust in online sex work and what I’ve done to build trust between me and clients of my virtual services, customers of my digital products and my fans in general. Clear is kind. —Brené Brown Since day one I’ve done my best to use clear language about what I offer and what are the terms for any purchase or subscription. When I began my pay site in January 1999 people were still wrapping their heads around using credit cards online and we regularly received money orders by mail as an alternative payment method. It was a question of trust. Having clear and honest sign-up and cancelling information was so important to us (me and my then-husband and business partner). Billing and porn companies in the internet’s earliest years purposefully made cancelling near impossible. Things improved because of legislation and more responsible business practices. However, as a customer you need your reading glasses for much of it. There is a lot of fine print in both mainstream and adult subscriptions. I recently subscribed to a fitness app thinking I’d be able to unsubscribe in the app store but it turns out I need to contact customer service. Fingers crossed they reply. Do what you say you are going to do. —Danielle LaPorte Being a member of a porn site was not the same as buying a magazine or renting a VHS tape. So many adults born before 1980, we cut our teeth on online commerce via porn— performer, model, webmaster and customers alike. There was a continuity to it because it was based on a more immediate experience at any time of the day or night. When I ran my paysite for the first 5 or so years it was important that we were available for customer service questions 24/7. It helped build trust in this new and unfamiliar way of engaging with adult content. We had two high speed internet connections so if one went down (as they were wont to do then) we would have a back up. We never went on vacation. Not one day. We worked on Christmas. It was all consuming for us because we wanted to deliver what we said we would. Fans knowing that I was behind-the-scenes as well as in front of the camera made the porn experience more personal and also more trustworthy. Trust as Karma As someone who is more than just the face of a product but whose personal experiences are the product, I don’t want to mislead people. It feels like bad sexual karma. To trade in deception while partaking in sex feels unnecessary to me. I want my work to be validating, empowering and pleasurable. I only want people to be a part of my online sex world who genuinely want to be there. Like with an IRL relationship I want our break-up to be drama free. I don’t want you sticking around because of a technicality, but because you want to. Photos: May 2020