

*Dammit if you fuck me... over~* Can you tell I've been thinking about stuffs a lot? xD Idk, maybe I'm just changing or growing. But I have become more self-aware over the past couple of years, and slowly becoming more aware of others and how they perceive the world, they're thoughts, feelings, experiences. I've had past encounters where boundaries have been crossed which have led me to be more reserved with how I present certain things, the most recent being someone I rarely talked to privately and who I only knew by username. But they gave me this little speech, and I didn't think too much of it. Why would I? I don't really know them and they don't really know me. So, I responded in a general manner. They replied about how I didn't understand and that it was ok, etc. Then they changed what they said to make it seem like they accepted my response. The thing is, this person didn't know I read the original message before they edited it. I don't want to go into details because it's a more private matter, but they basically gave me responsibility of their life. I was so confused and distraught because I didn't know how to respond to something like that. And what do I say now that they've edited their message and probably think I didn't see the original? Do I still say something? Do I do something? Do I even have to do anything? Is this even really my responsibility? I don't actually know them, and they don't know me outside of being online, but yet they still thought that I was important enough to share all of that with. How the fuck am I supposed to respond?!... I became angry for putting that on me like other people have, like my first bf did. I became anxious because I wasn't sure if they were expecting another response from me or what would be the best thing to say in that situation. And a million other thoughts and feelings raced through my head and heart and I froze... But it's not up to me. Why does it have to be up to me? I don't really know them, and they don't really know me. Yet, somehow, I was still important to them. And now, I won't know what actually ended up happening. And I can only hope that they're ok or in a better place. I know that I sometimes say that you guys can talk to me about anything. But if you need help, real help, please seek that professional help. Don't put it on me or someone else who isn't trained for that. One wrong thing said, and it could easily be seen as my responsibility, my fault. Please don't ever do that. Please.